God’s Trying To Kill Me!


I know it’s hard to fathom that God would be the one who was trying to kill me, but let me explain before you think I have lost my natural mind. There was a season in my life where I was going through such a rough time. I felt like if God didn’t do something quick I was going to lose my mind and walk away from Christendom.

People who I thought were my friends, I found later to be false, I had family members hurt me to the core, my finances were out of whack, my health was critical, the devil attacked my daughter, my employer hated me or at least that’s the way they treated me, every door of opportunity just slapped me in the face and I found out later that I have a family history of anxiety attacks, had I not started to have them myself I probably would have never known that I had a family history of anxiety.

Talk to the elders in your family and found out your history some things you are dealing with can be a generational curse passed down from generation to generation.  I had been beat down to the ground!

What was I to do? The only thing I knew to do, I fell on my face daily and cried out to God a cry that came from the depths of my soul, I was broken to the core. I have always been a seeker of God, I have always prided myself to being a woman after God’s own heart and going deep into the things of God. So, I could not understand this place I found myself in.

Finally, I came to the conclusion that someone was trying to kill me, not make me lose my mind but literally trying to kill me and I was going to find out who it was. Of course my first intuition said it was the Devil. It had to be him because I had finally come to personally know that God loved me or else He wouldn’t have sent His only Son to die for me on the cross, right?

But, I didn’t have peace with that answer, so there was only one other answer to my question, God are you trying to kill me? His answer was a resounding yes! I’m trying to kill everything in you that is not of me, everything that resembles pride in your life must die, everything that takes your attention from me I want it dead, every fleshly matter in your life must be crucified, every idol must be demolished, period.

When you worship me you will worship me from a broken and contrite heart, you will pour out of your soul until there is nothing left for you to pour,  you will be empty and then I can begin to pour myself into you, when the world looks at you I don’t want any evidence of you but they will know that you have been in my presence.

And there it was, God was killing every thing in me that was not like Him, He was pruning me of every weed that was laying dormant in my life, He was plucking out of me every dead root that produced dead fruits. And it was for my good, it didn’t feel good to my flesh I can assure you that, but it was good for my flesh. I was being crucified and everything that was not like God was dying.

During that season of my life was rough for sure but it was during those times that I felt closer to God then any other time in my life, when I felt I had no one else to turn to I turned to Him, when I felt there was no one to listen me to me, I turned to Him, when there was no arm for me to lean on I leaned on Him and I was better for it!

I learned a very powerful lesson that when all hell breaks through in your life, when you find yourself in a lonely and dark place, when you feel like someone is trying to kill you, don’t automatically assume that it is the Devil it just might be God!

His Handmaiden,

Evangelist Tracy Grier

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28 responses to “God’s Trying To Kill Me!

  1. Tracy! this is a great article! I love the Title and the content! Keep up the great work!

  2. I like cuz! Keep doing what you are doing. We need more ppl like yourself. I love you!

  3. This was a blessing to me thank you. I have been in this storm myself currently, trying to ride the waves of life. I know God has a plan, and he wants all of me to do his will.

    Thank you again for this message.

    Jimenez

  4. Pastor Tonya Gainey

    Great article Minister Tracy – so proud of you!

  5. Evangelist Grier,
    You hit the nail on the head with this one. I beleive that if we stop giving the enemy credit for everything in our lives, it will render him powerless and ineffective over all which concerns us. I think the problem is that so many people, especially Christians refuse to take that look in the mirror at themselves and believe that they themselves (we) have some things that are out of order and God needs to tend to the garden (us) and remove everything in us in order to make us more like Him. It hurts, but in the end we are victorious.
    Praying your much suiccess. Allow God to continue to have His way in you and remember, “Let The Word Do The Work”! Be and Stay Blessed!

  6. Jacqueline Edwards

    This was a blessing to read. It really touch me because I know that sometime I feel like I am alone in this world and GOD has just left me here with no voice but reading this made me feel so much better and I am ready to step out on what GOD has for me to do. Thank you for letting me read this.

    • Sweetheart I am so glad that this article touched you and maybe even shedded some light for you, I know God has great things in store for you and no, He has not forsaken you, He has promised His own that He will be with you until the end, when everyone else walks out He will still be standing there with you! Be blessed and encouraged woman of God!

  7. Powerful Word woman of God. You’re a blessing to the Kingdom

  8. Thank you so much! I saw this posted on a friend’s fb page. It’s just what I needed… and an answer to prayer! God bless you and please continue to allow him to use you !

  9. Amen and amen!!! May our flesh DIE daily as we strive to live our lives with righteousness and holiness! God gets all the glory and the praise for all He does in our lives…I appreciate your transparency sis!! This seed will help many =)

    • Thank you sis that is my prayer that many be blessed through my story of how I experienced His love, He loved me enough to get rid of everything that’s not like Him! God bless you Monika and keep establishing the Kingdom for God)

      • Praise Him for His agape love! I’m working right along with you…may we continue to encourage one another as we walk this walk out =)

      • Amen sis, it is a pleasure to walk this path with you knowing that God has a purpose and a plan for our lives! Be encouraged in your walk and your work for the Kingdom!

  10. I toatally dig the new blogspot. Im a learning myself that God will remove all destraction in your life. Your testimony has touched me and I am greatful for it!

  11. Tracy, I remember Joyce Meyer’s account of “God is killing you.” Only she related it to the potter shaping the clay. The clay being heated up and molded by God. While he is molding you, you are saying “enough Lord enough,” but he is saying ” no not yet” you are saying ” when Lord when” His reply is ” a little longer.” Then suddenly the heat has ceased and you feel beauthful and worthy. All the things that could have pulled you apart are sealed, you are shaped and molded into his image and now you are ready for display, and the the life he has for you.

    I can say He has done a marvolus job in molding you as His daughter, and I am just as proud.

  12. I congratulate, what words…, a brilliant idea
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  13. I think, that you are not right. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.
    dieta dukana

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